Cottage Availability

 

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Our first guests for the season are due today

 

Our short holiday rental season is upon us and the first guests are due in today. All the last-minute jobs are done and the Cottage is ready!

 

We even managed to bang a few Melamine boards together to house the fridge and microwave.

Come on, all ye faithful! We welcome you to Riverbend Cottage!

A very merry Christmas to all past, present and future guests

 

We have outsourced this year's Christmas Greetings to keep costs down - and it seems to be working as our nearest B&B neighbours charge $1925 a week while we're still a very reasonable $1260.

We're the cheapest and the best with the most freebies and the closest absolute waterfront. That's worth being merry about. So here's to a very Merry Christmas to all of you from all of us!

Padma & Peter & Malty & Rover, the two K9s.

Beware of cheap imitations!

We installed the original laptop right here along the Clyde River waterfront and many a good book has been read and many a good letter written on it! Try it out - it's very user-friendly and won't crash!

Hi, we've got WiFi!

If you're the President of the United States or some other important person who is totally indispensable to the running of the world, you can bring along your own laptop and log on to our FREE broadband WiFi.

Last orders, please!

 

The Cottage is already booked from Monday, 24th December 2012, until Saturday, 12th January 2013, but you can still book in for a quiet pre-Christmas holiday or anytime after 12th January.

You want to be quick though as enquiries are coming in all the time.

With tongue firmly lodged in buccal cavity

 

"Health Warning"

Riverbend Cottage does not compete with establishments whose toilet seats are wrapped in cute little "Sanitized for your convenience" covers or who dull your senses with Muzak and the drone of air-conditioning ("air-conditioning" here means opening the window and letting the gentle breeze come in off the river).

Our TV reception is limited to the ABC, SBS, and WIN (however, you have a choice of dozens of excellent DVDs - all without commercial breaks!) And there are plenty of books to read (you remember books, don't you? they are like DVDs with pages)

Once here, you may even relax enough not to miss your mobile because, guess what, it won't work here. However, we gladly take your messages on our phone or, if you're the President of the United States or some other important person who is totally indispensable to the running of the world, you can bring along your own laptop and log on to our FREE broadband WiFi.

Our guests from the city always enthuse about the air here. It's fresh and composed mainly of oxygen and nitrogen, unlike what they are used to. They fall asleep almost immediately, their bodies exhausted from the lack of carbon monoxide and lead they have come to depend on.

This is a pristine bushland setting on the water's edge, so please wear sensible footwear and behave in a responsible manner. We'd be happy to leave it at that but since some people employ such a good team of lawyers, we also require you to read and accept the following Risk Warning.

It is quiet here and very peaceful and you're the only guest. Instead of having to listen to somebody else's snoring or be "entertained" by some ablution noise in the room next door, you may hear the occasional possum wander over your roof at night or be surprised by a little green frog looking at you from under the bathroom door.

All this sensory deprivation may come as a shock to you and we suggest that, as a rough guide, if your chronological (or mental) age is less than 30, you will probably lack the appreciation of being miles away from McDonald's and the sounds of an infternal combustion engine.

To all you others and to those who want to recover their energy and rediscover themselves, please come and stay and stay long, sit quietly, breathe deeply, and listen to the river, to the birds, to YOURSELF!